Dear Blog.... I miss you

Lately I've been feeling the itch to write.  I miss my blog, but I know it's been so long since I've written that no one is reading me anymore.  What I really miss is my Xanga community.  I loved blogging on Xanga, it got me through some of the hardest days of my life as we struggled to get pregnant the first time.  When Xanga went away I downloaded my entire blog on a flash drive.  I couldn't just let those words, those days disappear.  They are the story of our marriage and our WeeMan's beginnings.  So many tears were shed as I wrote them, so many prayers and wished spilled there.

Anyways, I miss the family I built up on Xanga,  the other ladies that were struggling in similar ways to me.   I still "see" them on Facebook, but it's just not the same.

So I'm going to sigh and try to get back into writing on here and hope that somehow it comes close to filling that void.

As far as life right now.... well things are quite different this school year.  My baby is in kindergarten. How on earth did that happen!  One minute he was rocking in my lap and the next he's riding to school with me everyday.  I love having him in my building with me.  I love catching a glimpse of him in the hallway and hearing how's he doing from other teacher daily.  He's sharp as a tack - we always knew he would be.... and huge relief he's decided he likes school and reading and writing.  In fact he loves writing.

There are challenging kiddos in his classroom.  We knew there would be.  Our school is the lowest in the county.  Over 85% of our kids are on free lunch and many of them have horrible home lives.  We debated where we wanted him to go.  It wasn't an easy decision to send him here.  He could have stayed at his babysitter and gone to a county school.  But this was the right decision, for him and for his classmates. We are proud of the way he has accepted some of the kids who have issues and become their friend.  I want him to have a heart for the broken... for the messed up.... for the hurting.  I know that here in this building he's growing that heart.

For me... I'm back in fourth grade, and I'm happy.  I have several kids I had two years ago in second and that was a fantastic way to start the year.  Even more than that though this class has formed a family unit and it feels good to come to school to teach them.  I'm reminded this is where I belong.  Last year was a day to day struggle to get up and get here.  I was miserable, I won't lie I'm pretty sure my kids were miserable.  This year is like a breath of fresh air.

So that's the synopsis of the here and now. I'm planning to try to get back here a few times a week.  My fingers itch to write to document this life that is flying by too fast.