Time to get off my fat butt

So I have to confess I've been lazy all summer.  My weight is up to 235 - not the highest it's ever been - but headed back to that place.  I'm not happy with it, I hate getting up in the morning and feeling fat.  I hate buying clothes at Goodwill that should fit and getting them home and realizing they don't fit.  I hate the daily struggle to try to look nice even though I feel enormous.  So here we go.  I've got my food diary app re-installed on my phone.  I hit the grocery store today and bought lots of healthy veggies and salad fixings for the week.  I planned this week's menu using this website.  I'm even attempting Meatless Mondays in my menu planning.  Well - I will have meatless monday and my hubby and D will have meat added to their dinner.  I'm determined that even though this is going to be HARD  (I love food and hate exercise) that I need to lose weight before our vow renewal ceremony at the end of October.  The first place I always seem to lose is my face - which will help our pictures out a lot and hopefully in the beginning it will come off fast.  It has in the past.  I've even managed to line up one of my friends as a walking buddy.  Maybe we can keep ourselves motivated.  It'd be amazing if I could manage to peel off 20 pounds by the end of October - I know that's a lot, but if I put my mind to it maybe I can.

My biggest issue is trying to do this in a sane manner.  In the past I haven't always made the best choices when it comes to weight loss.  Before I met my husband when I was at my lowest weight - I was down to 175 and I was obsessive about it.  I was walking or exercising constantly - which isn't awful... but I was also throwing up after almost every meal.  I don't want to be that girl anymore but I know it's very easy to slide into that girl.  She's the voice in the back of my head after a big meal whispering "Just go toss your cookies, you'll feel better".  She's scary and tempting all rolled into one.

So I guess I'm going to be using this blog to document my lifestyle change for awhile and keep myself honest.  I do a better job of sticking to a diet when I'm checking in at least once a week.  Fingers crossed and prayers whispered that I have the willpower to stick to it this time.